The Debate & Wounded Soldiers

And the debate continues to rage onward. Before I continue though I have to tell you that my girlfriends son was hit by an explosive device in Iraq. He was driving, she believes, and was inside the vehicle. The kid walking alongside was not so lucky. He perished. The vehicle was blown up. She is not given much information, but believes at this point that he has all of his limbs and suffered a serious concussion. He is hospitalized. He was due to return home, for a year, on April 9th. For now, this is all I know.

On the talk radio ,yesterday, there was a huge debate about people who claim to "support the troops", but not the war. I consider myself one of those people. The guy hosting the chat said that people who make that claim are undermining the moral of the troops and their families. Well, let me tell you, from someone who knows people first hand, they do not begrudge me my stance and basiaclly he feels that people over here are free to do what we want as long as we don't refer to them as "baby killers" and crap like that. Which I do not.

I know that it is the job that they take on when they do join the military and I do not hold that against them. They are doing what their job trains them to do. What I can speak against is that we have a government that has manufactured a terrible, nasty situation to put them in and I do not like that one bit!!

There was a mother that called in to talk about how proud she is of her sons etc. That it bothers her and so on to hear people speak their mind. Well, there will be people like that, but they seem to be a bit more of the narrow minded, blindly following type. My friend knows that I stand with the peace vigil on Sunday nights to silently protest against Bush and this war. She knows how I feel, hell, she doesn't like it anymore than we do. She is also very proud of her son and repsects the mans job that he is doing over there, but she would never tell me that I could not be against this ugly war. She knows that I worry and support her son right along with her and her family.

I beleieve that everyone is entitled to have their opinions about this mess, but I really am beginning to resent those that are, once again, bringing up and making it seem as if the rest of us are "un-American" and "un-Patriotic" if we even say anything against it. Just because they believe everything hook, line and sinker, doesn't make them a better citizen of this country or a better American than any of the rest of us that do not suport this war.

Summer 2007 Kick Off, Chardonay and Tattoos

It was a FANTASTIC weekend to formally kick-off the 2007 summer cookout & wine drinking season!! It was 73 here, on Sat., and the urge to have a burger/brat and a nighttime fire was literally overwhelming. We were running around and doing outdoor stuff all day. The dogs were out all day and slept some of that time. It was really great for the mental health to finally be bale to sit outside and enjoy the yard and sun.

There you also have the new tattoo. A symbol of my continual search for meaning. The OM symbol, Hindu, that can represent a Higher Being and allegedly the sound made at the creation of the universe. Coming out of a Lotus blossom. The symbol of wisdom. It also grows out of the mud, but is not affected by the mud that surrounds it. The goal that I would like to set as the way I would like to live my life. I believe that it will be my last. Not only did it hurt like hell on the back of my neck and it is healing slower, but there is no other really good place to put one and I have also said what I want to say and made enough personal statements.

John (SO) left for Boston this AM and may be there until April 10th. Then he may go directly to the Netherlands. So, we never did get to use this vacation time to get a new car, but now that he is gone again it is not a problem.

My mom is coming up on Thursday and we are going to have a few good days of real intense thrifting. I am excited and so is she because we both enjoy bargain hunting. We will probably hit some luch out and then she will leave on Sunday and I assume I will be back to work Monday. Or should I say.......

Back to the "grind".

Real Mom Meme

Thanks for the meme tag Mixter! Like yours this will be a long one. Men folk, the accompanying photo is one of hilarity, so don't get your panties all in a bunch! :-)

Like you Mixter I am a far cry from the traditional mommy and I have not often followed that path. Oh, I had big plans; I was going to make all my own baby food, wear cloth diapers etc. & so on. Well, you know how the best laid plans often go awry, he wore disposables and ate Happy Meals, so as with the rest of my story/meme I think that makes me a 'real mom" and not someone else's idea of one. Here goes......

I am around Mixters age, so I have a 16 year old and also think that we have done a damn good job in today's society. He doesn't do drugs, drink or smoke and makes no bones about it. he has done many things from school sports to piano and guitar. he skates and bikes and has very diverse musical interests as well as a highly developed dry sense of humor for his age. Maybe this grows out of being any only child. I won't say that there have never been any hair pulling moments, but that has to be a rite of passage for both parent and child. I have a friend whose kid was SO perfect and good through childhood that now, at 21, has changed colleges 4 times and was kicked out once for poor academic performance and hates his mother. So, I do not think that claiming to have the perfect kid or even expecting it is a good thing or one that you should put on their shoulders.

I too belong to the casual, Mixter style of housekeeping. I have a pot-it on my fridge that says," A disorganized home is a sign of life being lived." When I was younger I tried and thought that you had to have the home ready for company at anytime. I was almost OCD about items being in their places at all times. Boy, am I happy to have gotten past that!! It happened when I went back to college as the mother of a 2 year old. It may have saved my life. We have dust and some spots have clutter, but who cares? I think our home is comfortable and relaxed and very inviting. We have lots of family photos on the walls, so what if the frames have some dust on them, better to be happy and proud than to worry what someone will think of my cleanliness habits. My kitchen counters are clean and my toilet bowl, what more is there? My house does not stink and we have clean laundry. We also have 2 dogs and dog hair enough to make a sweater business. I am not a freak about washing windows or feel the need to vacuum daily. If I get to the windows once a year, fine. If I vacuum once a week it will do.

As for SO and myself we have reached a very comfortable place in our relationship. He was, at the beginning, someone that was so very different from me and I thought we had nothing in common. He is the most honest and trustworthy person that I have ever known. He is tolerant and has weathered every change in haircolor as well as personality that I have gone through in life. I am very fortunate. I am hyper, while he is mellow. I am excitable while he remains calm. A very definite yin-yang.

As for my childhood... there is not much to say. IT had a certain amount of severe dysfunction, which doesn't matter after all these years, but I am sure that it helped shape parts of me. Many that I have re-worked and made even better. That which doesn't kill us makes us stronger and I believe that. I am a very strong person.

Max, I think, has had or would say that he has had a great childhood. He has had opportunities like I never did, but isn't that usually what we want for our kids? At 14 he got to spend 7 days on a cruise of the Eastern Caribbean. As an only child he has always had our attention and never been ignored or neglected. He has been able to pursue many interests and musical avenues. He may have wished for siblings, but it was not meant to be.

Never tried breastfeeding. Heard too many horror stories about infected and inflamed nipples and just cringed at the thought. I got tired of all those Laleche League women that swore I was a terrible mother and he would not grow up right etc. He is 6 feet tall and 165 pounds right now. Good health. I think the bottle was okay!! We also bonded just fine.

Had a C-section and would have done it again had the opportunity arose! He was turned and there was not enough room to try and move him around. he was in there so tight, actually, that he "popped" when he came out. Like a cork! I do not think it makes me any less of a real mom not having gone through all the pain of labor etc.

A very, very sad and quite emotional time of our lives was a period of about 1 1/2 years while we visited a fertility doc and spent many thousand of dollars trying to get pregnant before I was 40. Many, many early morning drives to his office, with a sample jar of sperm under my armpit, as I would lie there for hours getting inseminated. Then the weeks waiting. All the tests etc. Then SO got laid off and we lost health care and had to abruptly stop. Again, a very serious test in our relationship as I went through a very serious depressive time. It took me a VERY LONG time to come to terms with the fact that it was not ever going to happen. A dark time in our lives.

We are basically a very happy family. Maxs friends see me as the cool and whacky mom with the crazy hair that changes colors often. The kids at school all know me from the coffee mega giant and the crazy hair.

Oh yes, I am a "real mom". I juggle all the elements and at the end of the day still feel like I have done, and am still doing, the best that I can do

Thanks Mixter, this was fun. Maybe I will tag Rachel over at Indigo Luna. She is a mom, like us, but also very non-traditional as well.

Meme Time - 5 Reasons Why I Blog

Well, this is a different meme and one that fellow blogger Indigo Luna had posted, so here goes!

1. I had gotten laid-off and actually had the time to sit down and figure it out and also to find my voice. I had been reading everyone else's blogs for some time and knew that I could fit somewhere inbetween.

2. None of my local friends even know that I do this, so it serves as an outlet for the really crappy days and I can bitch about them and they will never know!

3. It is an opportunity to dialog with like minded, and when they are not at least they are intelligent and open to discussion, people about issues that I consider important.

4. It is a way to make my opinions known even if readership is small. There are not that many people in my scope of the world who actually want to discuss some of these topics, so this is my chance to put it out there.

5.It is fun! I look forward to the running conversations, or not, and the friendly banter. Adding photos and other misc. serves as an enjoyable passtime.

Why do you blog?

Planet Earth

This looks to be one very well made and visually stunning television program. We are excited to Tivo every episode! The Discovery Channel & the BBC went together and created The Planet Earth. If you have not already seen the previews for this you might want to try and catch the first episode, they begin Sunday night, and I bet you will be hooked.

There are no agendas with this show, just pure entertainment and education. The camera work that I have seen shows animals in some incredible shots. Film crews made over 204 location shots in 62 countries over a 5 year time period. They are quoted by USA Today as saying," Earth does not have an aggressive environmental message. It aims to say, there's this massive, wonderful wilderness you've never seen before. Enjoy it. Learn about it. Be inspired by it."

Informative

I only knew the bare minimum about the actual history of Iraq, not ever having any classes in college that addressed that country, and just knew enough to follow along. I read a great deal to educate myself. Mother Jones News has a great primer and educational piece that breaks it all down for you. Iraq 101. Some of the information tells us that since the attack in Iraq that Jihadists attacks have increased , around the world, by 607%. Before the war 100% of Iraqi children went to school, but in 2006 that number was down to 30%. 40% of them have expeienced a traumatic event and another 14% suffer from PTSD. The numbers and information are very interesting and if you want to get some basics you may want to check it out.

Now for Something Completely Different

This is not something that I usually do, post cutsie family type photos, the dogs, birds, backyard etc, but since SO got the new camera and he has been playing with all of its many functions he recently gave me a CD of his work. So, without any further adieu I give you my patchwork of misc. family along with haircolor and backyard birds!! Enjoy.

The Continual Seeker

" Whether you believe in God or not does not matter so much, whether you believe in Buddah or not does not matter so much. You must lead a good life. And a good life does not mean just good food, good clothes, good shelter. These are not sufficient. A good motivation is what is needed: compassion without dogmatism, without complicated philosophy,; just understanding that others are human brothers and sisters and respecting their human rights and dignity. That we humans can help each other is one of our unique human capacities."

Dalai Lama on Ethics and the Good Society

This is the road that I seek and am drawn towards.

When & Where Does it Stop?

This is all getting too crazy! Alberto Gonzales, Scooter Libby, how many people are going to continue to fall on their swords for this administration? What power do these men weild that others are willing to throw away careers and let themselves be used as doormats? Even Jay Leno had a good one about that. "Dick Cheney tripped the other day...it was okay though, Scooter Libby was there to take the fall."

Although, not alone, and not surprising we find our good friend and evil mastermind Karl Rove has his finger in this and we can assume every pie in this admin. No big surprise.

With a heavy sigh I just shake my head at the daily exploits in this White House and wonder how much worse can it get. This is much more troubling than any nit-picking I can muster with all the challengers for the '08 election. These antics are very worisome indeed. I believe that it will only get worse as we draw this admin. to a close. Cheney & Co. will certainly leave their mark. We can only hope that there are pieces left to pick up and get things back in to some reasonable order and restore our standing with the rest of the world as well as our own attitudes in this country.

Starbucks, R.E.M., and Anna Quindlen

Yahoo! According to Anna Quindlen, of Newsweek magazine, Ann Coulter the "conservative lounge act" and the way in which she delivers her form of information are well past their "sell-by date". Thank God!! It is finally refreshing to hear someone else, say out loud, how old and tired that horse is, as well as others, that continue to turn up on the talk smack circles. She is as old and boring as yesterdays stock quotes. her piece over at Newsweek was very good.

Seems that the coffee mega giant is blooming into the world of music. They have already been selling cd's for some time, but now it looks like they are going to have their own label. I have like much of the indie stuff that they have put out there, the girl band Antigone Rising was one, and there have been a few compilations. believe it or not, even if you do not frequent the establishment, but music is a very important part of the experience. People are always asking about the usic that they hear in our background. What cd is this or what song etc. We sell many cd's this way. I have even bought some through this method. The Corrine Baily Rae cd is one example as well as John Legend. Yes, sometimes I like to groove to a little soul and R&B.

Finally, my old indie fav, R.E.M has made it to the Rock Hall of Fame. I was lsitening to them long before radio play or anyone knew who they were or what they looked like!! For years they kept their faces off their album covers. Saw them once and they were excellent live. They had great political stuff long before Green Day. Although I do love Green Day as they remind me of what R.E.M. was like in their beginning. I can't say that I care about any of the other Rock inductees. I never like Van Halen, I always thought that David Lee Roth was an embarassment to them and a real boob. Patti Smith, okay and I am not sure that haip hop is the right thing to add, but it is music, so maybe it should have been called the Music Hall of Fame.

Peace out! Holla!

So it Seems.........

So it seems, and this is not the first time that I have heard this, that yet ANOTHER pharmacist has elected to put his/her orality in to play and refuse a customer access to the "morning after or plan B " pill. I have not ever had need to get this item, but if it ever became necessary I would be pissed like no ones business if some uber-christian, pro-lifer type refused to sell it to me. No matter what your job might be in this life you do not have the right to infuse your personal and / or religious leanings in to that jobs service/ or function! You might have very strong personal thoughts about issues, but when you begin to add them to your work ethic, then I believe you are crossing the line.

When I was teaching there was a guy who would push his political agendas and personal thoughts onto his classes. I totally disagreed with him too. It is not our business to offer our thoughts, but to teach the material and try to get them to think and question on their own. It is the same for any job you do. You must deal with it the way it comes and leave your opersonal thoughts and baggage at home.

So it seems that no matter how much you work out, do tai-chi and watch what you eat you can still end up with high choloesterol! I said, "what the hell!" yesterday I got the results from my involved physical for the EMS job. It said that 200 is high and mine was 232. LDL was 135 and 100 was high on that one. I have no idea what it all means, but I intend to do some research today. Since my personal physician died, several years ago, I still have not gotten a new one and so I will have to look in to it on my own. How does one get this way and what is to be done about it? My mom has no such complaints and I know nothing about my dads family history. I hope this does not stop me from getting the job. I am a bit worried now. What is it they say? Eat right, work out and die anyway. :-)

So it seems that no matter how much time passes you still can intensly miss your best friend. Yesterday was his birthday. He died in Feb. of 1995 much too young. Friends will come and go in your life, but there is just usually one that you can give the title of "best friend" and not only mean it, but it holds for life. This was a friend who once offered to marry me just so my son would have health insurance and all of this when he was gay!! He often bought me diapers and formula when I was going through a terrible divorce and had hardly 2 cents to rub together. His parents were like my own. They bought gifts and treated my son like family. We were as close, for 16 years, as any married couple. We shared the highs and lows of all of each others relationships. I have had many friends during and since, but no one has ever been the kind of friend that I would call "best". Not a slight to them, maybe to me, but I have never found that specail bond that we had.

As a took some spring decorations out to the cemetary yesterday I felt the weight of the tremndous loss. I did manage to smile as I told him, "well, you still managed to die younger and prettier than me." Now, he doesn't have to worry about cholesterol and all the other weird misc. that comes.

So it seems that no matter how many days off you have in a row that you will still feel like you didn't get anything or enough accomplished! I had Friday through today off, but can not feel good and like I got somethings done. Friday I had to interrupt my day for a staff meeting from 11-1. We got paid for it, but it was still a huge pain in the ass to my day. By the time it was over I had to rush around to get stuff done befor epicking up SO at the office. We are still trying to operate with one car. I took all of spring break off so we can take time and go out and look at cars. Yeaterday I did ALL the shopping and that was EXHAUSTING! Full parking lots and long lines wherever I went. Then I came home to find that SO seems to be getting a cold. Seem slike after all that travel the weather here and all is finally catching up with him. Filled him up with nighttime cold sleepy stuff, last night, and daytime stay awake cold meds this AM. My only hope is that I can avoid it myself. Although, I'm not as healthy as I seemingly thought and maybe all the herbs and vitamins I take are to no avail.

Oh, and by the way, my iron is below normal too! Normal begins at 62 and mine is 50. No wonder the last few times I tried to give blood they turned e down for low iron. That could account for my tiredness most of the time too. So, here goes another pill/suplement. If I end up having to get one of those "day of the week" pill holders... just shoot me!!

Literature & Lattes

A few weeks ago my manager, at the coffee mega giant, and I sat down and talked about beginning a book club. We are both avid readers and have a college campus next door and thought that it all might add up to a good time for everyone. We had our first meeting and several employees showed up as well as some regular customers and we began deciding what we might like to read as our first book.

My manager suggested Haunted by Chuck Palahniuk. He has read it it in the past, but likes it so much he would like to revisit it. We all looked it over read the quotes and endorsements and thought that it would be a good place to begin. It is something that is out of the realm for most of us and that was also a good idea. We are trying to stretch our tastes and come out of our comfort zones. The only rule of the club is NO Danielle Steele or any book that has the chance of becoming a made for Lifetime movie!!

If you have never read this book it has an interesting storyline. 23 people answer an ad for a writers retreat and thus the book is made up of their 23 short stories that form into the entire novel. It is a dark, very dark, yet humorous book. This is by the same guy that wrote the wonderfully dark Fight Club. He has quite a cult following on the interent/world wide web.

Mine just arrived yesterday and I have not gotten very far, but I am looking forward to getting in to it as several of the other rreaders are getting along and say it is quite good, but very different from their usual fare. But that is what we wanted!!

By the way, did I mention that we also drink coffee too? We have it right there at the store. That way others can see what we are doing and join.

Hillary Clinton vs Obama - Fake southern drawl in Selma

This was such an embarassing moment for her. What was she thinking!! It is stuff like this that has already turned me off on this election. Although she is not the only one, oh no, Obama has made his guffaws as well. he stated, at the smae march, that due to the Selma march his parents got together and he was born. Well, he was born in 1961, the march did not occur until 3 years later. he was trying to connect to hard with the core group and prove his relationship with them. These hijinxs are just a few reasons why I am already for this mess to be over and done!!

Change Is Good

As someone who has almost always been opposed to change I felt that it was time. I have never been a fan of re-doing things, but this was a two-fold purpose. First, I screwed up my settings, somehow, and had to redesign my blog. So, since I had to choose a new template I also thought that now would also be the time to make the switch to something lighter. A background that was more soothing to the eye and had a more relaxed look and feel. I think that I have succeeded.

I also do not usually like to do things again that I have already done in the past; such as getting the old links and other misc. that I had on the old blog, but again, since I screwed up I am taking it as a sign that it is/was time to clean house anyway. Update some new and toss out some old. Those roads less traveled type places.

Tonight is the book signing by Ishmael Beah at a Starbucks up near Cleveland. I am riding up with a few other pals from work. I am anxious to meet this guy. Not much to say except that I respect what he has done with his life since getting out of his country. I'll write more about that tomorrow or this weekend.

Tomorrow is the big physical/drug screen for the new job. I had to fill out about 15 pages of paperwork last night. Hearing test, TB test, a flexibility test as well as the drug and alcohol screen. It will probably last 2 hours and all that time with NO COFFEE!!!!! I may go insaneat that hour of the AM. Cruel and unusual punishment if you ask me.

Like I said earlier, I don't adjust well, but change can be good.