Friday, April 24, 2009

It's What Ya Have to Do

There are just some things that you have to do. You may not want to do them and they may be quite uncomfortable, but you do them because you know there are just certain things that you have to do. This is one of them.

Sunday I have to go to calling hours for the sixteen year old son of a friend.

I have been to calling hours for many people that I have cared for and many people that were just acquaintances. Many have been sad. Although I do not think that anything can compare to a parent having to bury a child.

They have two others, a 17 year old and a younger one. This was their middle son.

I have heard that there are to be many, many kids from the high school coming. I plan to get there early. I know that it is going to be very emotional. For everyone there.

I have been feeling so many emotions ever since this occurred. Naturally, as a parent, you think about what you would be thinking and feeling if it were you. Then you say to yourself that you don't even want to think about it.

You don't want to go, but they are friends and it is what you have to do. One of the most, if not THE most, unbelievably sad things that you will do in life. Attend the funeral of someone so young.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

The Dangers of Moving Stuff

Monday I worked an eight hour day, a day that was especially stressful, and I had to move some furniture that was new to me. My boss and his wife were getting new stuff, so we gave them a small amount of money and had to make arrangements to get the other stuff to our house.

My friend, who has a van, agreed that he would assist. Then I decided to rent a U-Haul and get it all done in one move. There was a seven foot couch, love seat and a large over stuffed chair with a large foot stool. With a van it would have been, back and forth, six trips! After a full day of work I knew that it would not be fun moving furniture into the night.

I got home from work and Max had gotten the house ready and the old couch was ready to move out to the curb. After about 40 minutes of struggling Max & I just could not get it out. I was getting more tired and frustrated. My pal showed up and he and Max got it right out. Then we went and picked up the truck.

Having driven an ambulance I got the same size truck It was a ten foot truck and I knew that it would be big enough. We got there, got it loaded right quick and headed back to my house. This is where the REAL fun began!

I pulled up in front of my house, my buddy was following, and turned on the emergency flashers. Promptly opened the door, put my left foot out the door......and fell right into the street!! Dropped like a rock the three or four feet onto my brick street!

I could not even grab anything or stop myself. I hit hard on my left shoulder and just barely help my head up, which caused me to jerk my head violently. I was stunned and could just roll onto my stomach to get myself up. My friend pulled up right behind me and rolled the window down to ask if I was okay.

We managed to get everything in the house, but here I am a few days later, and I am SOOO stiff and sore that I can hardly move. I have so many stiff muscles. Neck, shoulder, pecs, back,,,,hell, all of them! I slept like crap last night because I could not get comfortable in any position.

Friday I am either going to have to go see the chiropractor , or my friend at work, has offered a free pass that she has for an hour massage. All I know is that I need something!! This just solidifies the fact that I hate moving stuff!!

I am enjoying sitting my stiff butt on this newer love seat though!

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Phony Baloney

A week or so ago I had an experience. It was a slap in the face that I had never experienced. Until this particular day at the coffee shop.

I am what I am. I am the way I am and I don't try to come across as anything else, nor do I try to be different things to other people in other situations. If nothing else I am consistently ME!

A girl, that I know and have known for about 14 years and whose parents lived next door, came in to the coffee shop. I had known that she had gotten married in the last few years. I assumed that the khaki wearing, buttoned down shirt guy with her was the new hubby. Back when I had learned of her nuptials I was thrilled because she had dated quite a few different guys and none of the relationships had panned out.

When they came into the shop I noticed her right away and hollered out a ,"Hi"!, and was met with a look and such a half-hearted hello that I was immediately put in my place!! I was totally ignored. When they finally ordered and paid she introduced the hubby, but only told him my name and no mention of how we knew each other and just left it at that!! There was no mention of how we lived next door to her parents, how she spent a couple of summers house sitting and our dogs used to hang out together. We used to have beers and wine in the summers outside on the porch. Nothing but a perfunctory intro to the hubby and a quick exit from the store.

Then there was the dramatic change in her look as well. She is a hair dresser who has a few tattoos and has always been a little bit wild, but this particular day we saw a dramatic change in wardrobe, khaki pants and a plain button down and very "mom like" hair. This new hubby has two young kids from his previous marriage.

I have nothing against taking on the raising of kids and making a home, but to totally make over who you are to fit some neighborhood image of who you should be....that pisses me off. I think it is phony. Even when Max played football, I never fit in with those people/parents, but I remained true to myself and made the best of it. I never set about to re-make my image so they would accept me. That is my big issue here.
Be yourself!
If you can not be accepted for yourself then why are you even with those people?

I know that I have gone through some people in all these years, but have held onto those who are/have been good friends. They have accepted me as I am and I have accepted them. That is what true friends do.

No baloney!!

Friday, April 10, 2009

Weathering the Storm

This organization, the National Organization for Marriage, has put together one VERY frightening video. The things they say seem to be meant to really scare the hell out of someone. I am sure it will work on some. It just really pisses me off.

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

Rescue Me

It's baaaaaccck!!!!! Yes! Tonight the new season of Rescue Me, my very favorite show, begins again. Twenty two brand new episodes to watch Denis Leary & pals in one of the finest shows cable TV has to offer. from what I have read this season is going to be great and Michael J. Fox is appearing in several of them as a recurring character.

I have been waiting for many, many months for this excellent show to return. If you have not ever watched it you might enjoy the excellent writing and fast paced stories. I will only be disappointed when it is finished. Then I will have to go out and purchase the entire series on DVD. Until I began to watch this show I was never totally sold on Denis Leary......this certainly changed my mind.

Let me also just mention the fun that I was able to have, on one of my last days of my "mini" vacation. As I was sitting on the paper, on top of the examining table, I just knew that this had to be a blog topic! While I waited for what seemed like an eternity for the doctor to even appear I planned out sentences and paragraphs.

I had decided that I had put off this appointment for long enough, since it has been about 7 years since my last trip, and might as well use this open ended time as a chance to get my lazy butt in there.

Yes ladies, I am talking about the, "take everything off, opening in the front, paper sheet", trip to the doctor!! I know 7 years is too long between visits, especially once you hit the big 4-0, BUT.... it is also a trip that I hate to make time out of my day to do AND it just sucks so much time out of an otherwise good day!

I did get right in, but then sat, in said gown and sheet, for a good 30 minutes. While sitting there and counting ceiling tiles I somehow managed to tear a big hole in my exquisite paper sheet, can it really be called a sheet, and thought, "well that's really going to be of use now!"

I really like her and we did manage to cover many good and important topics. I have a few small cysts in the breasts probably caused by the two main ingredients in my life; stress and caffeine. I have to wait and hear how the other stuff is functioning. That god the tools they use are now plastic and not the old school cold metal of our younger days!

Thursday I get to go and get my breast mashed for fun!! Next time I take any kind of vacation....someone remind about the things I should not schedule during that time!! Thank you very much.

Monday, April 06, 2009

The End Is Near

I guess that Newsweek magazine knows that the end is near. At least that is what I have been reading this morning. In yet another round of articles that speaks to the fact that slowly this nation is turning away from and getting out from under the hold that Christianity has had on it for so many years.

In the last few months we have been reading more and more articles that address this issue. telling us how the numbers of Americans that refer to themselves as Christians is declining. How, as a Nation, the numbers are falling for those who say that they follow one religion or another. In reality the numbers are growing in the groups that ascribe to no religion and attend no church.

The percentage of self-identified Christians has fallen 10 points in the past two decades."

Now, that may seem like a small and unimportant number, but the fact that the number is growing AND that people are reporting and talking about it IS important.

"It was a small detail, a point of comparison buried in the fifth paragraph on the 17th page of a 24-page summary of the 2009 American Religious Identification Survey. But as R. Albert Mohler Jr.—president of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, one of the largest on earth—read over the document after its release in March, he was struck by a single sentence. For a believer like Mohler—a starched, unflinchingly conservative Christian, steeped in the theology of his particular province of the faith, devoted to producing ministers who will preach the inerrancy of the Bible and the Gospel of Jesus Christ as the only means to eternal life—the central news of the survey was troubling enough: the number of Americans who claim no religious affiliation has nearly doubled since 1990, rising from 8 to 15 percent. Then came the point he could not get out of his mind: while the unaffiliated have historically been concentrated in the Pacific Northwest, the report said, "this pattern has now changed, and the Northeast emerged in 2008 as the new stronghold of the religiously unidentified." As Mohler saw it, the historic foundation of America's religious culture was cracking.

"That really hit me hard," he told me last week. "The Northwest was never as religious, never as congregationalized, as the Northeast, which was the foundation, the home base, of American religion. To lose New England struck me as momentous." Turning the report over in his mind, Mohler posted a despairing online column on the eve of Holy Week lamenting the decline—and, by implication, the imminent fall—of an America shaped and suffused by Christianity. "A remarkable culture-shift has taken place around us," Mohler wrote. "The most basic contours of American culture have been radically altered. The so-called Judeo-Christian consensus of the last millennium has given way to a post-modern, post-Christian, post-Western cultural crisis which threatens the very heart of our culture." When Mohler and I spoke in the days after he wrote this, he had grown even gloomier. "Clearly, there is a new narrative, a post-Christian narrative, that is animating large portions of this society," he said from his office on campus in Louisville, Ky."

The way I see it the religious culture is cracking because people are beginning to choose to think for themselves AND dislike the idea of being told how to live their lives by a church. Tired of paying a tithing for what!? Tired of the same old catty gossip. Tired of having to sacrifice every Sunday by being at church for hours when that time could easily be spent with family at home.

When I first left the last church I attended I had felt like there was something wrong with me. That I was just too much of a misfit to fit in and belong, Now I have met several folks from that same church who have also left or stopped attending. I don't bother to ask why, but the fact that it is not just me is finally beginning to set in.

We are beginning to see the tip of the iceberg here. Slowly but surely people are beginning to think for themselves. Maybe they are reading more. Maybe questioning more. Either way the numbers are showing exactly what some of us have been feeling and seeing for sometime. That people are getting tired of the stranglehold that the Christian side has had for far too long. It is time for the free thinkers to emerge. Finally the time is coming where those of us who feel detached from Christianity can speak up and see the numbers grow and not feel like such a small part of society.

Sunday, April 05, 2009

Kids, Kids Everywhere

When we had a small child we either got a babysitter or we didn't go out. Period. Now it seems like there are either no more babysitters for hire, or people have just gotten so self-centered that they think that the entire world will love their little precious ones!

Last night some friends, and I, took my mom out to a fun adult style place for food and drinks. It was her 75th birthday. As an aside I consider myself very fortunate that my mom is still in such good health that she does not take any kind of medication!

We began the evening about 5:00PM and sat ourselves in the bar area. Which, as we saw, ended up being such an excellent idea! Sitting next to the windows we could not believe how many families were coming in with small toddlers and babies in carriers. What fun would it be for the babies in the carriers, not to mention how much fun for the folks sitting in those areas.

One thing that I just find intolerable on a night of fun is sitting around people who think that their kids are adorable and the fact that they are squirming in and out of their chairs cutesy. Are you kidding me? Maybe it is the fact that the parents must use the phrase," Get in your chair"!, several dozen times. Maybe the kids throwing stuff like crayons and chicken tenders is enough to make the hair stand on the back of your neck.

What ever it might be, it is enough to make you crazy that these people can afford to go out to an upscale eatery, rather than McDonald's, but not enough to get a babysitter and give the rest of us a break from their kids! We all have either raised our kids or they are nearly gone and would like to go out to adult establishments and NOT be subjected to small children!!

Yes, we did sit in the bar and therefore did not subject ourselves to the nursery school that was the general seating area. Based upon what we saw coming and going, in the four hours that we were there, it was evident that by the time the parents were finished getting the french fries and chicken fingers for their brood the poor server would be lucky to get a marginal tip! It would all have been spent by the time the check came.

Everyday it becomes more and more evident as these parents take their kids in to places where the majority of the crowd is adult. Kids running up and down isles and around tables in an atmosphere where kids are not really liked or appreciated. Yet the minute that you run into or spill something on or knock down one of these little darlings is when you get sued!!

All I am saying is that there are family/kid friendly places and there are not. If adults want to go could they please just decide which type of place they wish to go and make it happen. Get a sitter and go adult, or grab the baby carrier and head to McDonald's or any place with a playground or any type of fun meal/happy meal or chicken tenders or nuggets.

Plus any kind of drink that comes in a plastic cup with a lid and straw!!

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Uncharted Waters

Today's Meditation:

I often use how I think I may feel in ten years as a guide. If I have an opportunity to do something new and different, will I regret not having done it? Will I regret having played it safe and not having taken a risk? And on my deathbed (assuming there will be such a thing) will I regret not having done the new and exciting and different and having settled for the safe and convenient?

A few years ago I weighed thirty pounds more than I do now. When I thought of how I would feel twenty years later, I realized that I would be facing many more health problems due to being overweight than I would if I weren't overweight, so I lost the extra pounds. It took about eighteen months to get where I wanted, but now that I'm there, I stay there. I would have been very disappointed in the future if I hadn't lost that weight, and now I won't face that disappointment in the years to come.

We had a friend in New England who wants desperately to move to a warmer climate, but who isn't willing to take the chance. . . . yet. We hope she will someday. But because she won't take that chance, she'll never know what she's missing by not living out her dream, by playing it safe in her comfortable job in her comfortable home. I have nothing against comfort, but it sure can hold us back and hold us down when we fear losing it.

I don't want to face disappointment later in life because I was afraid to take a chance and sail into uncharted waters. As I sail into those waters, I can add much more learning to my life, many more experiences that wouldn't be there otherwise. And those experiences can help me grow into a new person, one who is able to deal effectively with many more situations than the old one.

Questions to consider:

Are you willing to take chances, or do you keep your ship in port?

What kinds of disappointments might you face in twenty years? What can you do now to avoid them?

What kinds of decisions are you facing now that may mean that you'll have to take some risks?
For further thought:

A ship is safe in harbor, but that's not what ships are for.

I guess that I have always made the choice to sail into uncharted waters. many of the decisions that I have made, in my life, have have come across as unusual, risky and sometimes cavalier. Like the meditation states I have added SO much more to my lifetime learning by not being the "safe boat in the harbor".

Yes, there were many, many times when I was afraid of facing disappointment, but I knew deep within that if I chose the safe route then I might not grow and learn. It always feels comfortable to take the safe route. We are always more comfortable sticking to the same ground that we have always covered. It is always much nicer to not have to map out new roads, but those same old trails can often become stale and quite boring. I also feel like you stop growing when you follow those same well trod paths.

When I stop and think of all the people that I have met because of the diverging paths that I have taken...well, it makes me smile. Had I never taken a chance or risked anything I might have a very safe, but very mediocre life. Not the kind of life seems worth living.