Sunday, April 12, 2009
A week or so ago I had an experience. It was a slap in the face that I had never experienced. Until this particular day at the coffee shop.
I am what I am. I am the way I am and I don't try to come across as anything else, nor do I try to be different things to other people in other situations. If nothing else I am consistently ME!
A girl, that I know and have known for about 14 years and whose parents lived next door, came in to the coffee shop. I had known that she had gotten married in the last few years. I assumed that the khaki wearing, buttoned down shirt guy with her was the new hubby. Back when I had learned of her nuptials I was thrilled because she had dated quite a few different guys and none of the relationships had panned out.
When they came into the shop I noticed her right away and hollered out a ,"Hi"!, and was met with a look and such a half-hearted hello that I was immediately put in my place!! I was totally ignored. When they finally ordered and paid she introduced the hubby, but only told him my name and no mention of how we knew each other and just left it at that!! There was no mention of how we lived next door to her parents, how she spent a couple of summers house sitting and our dogs used to hang out together. We used to have beers and wine in the summers outside on the porch. Nothing but a perfunctory intro to the hubby and a quick exit from the store.
Then there was the dramatic change in her look as well. She is a hair dresser who has a few tattoos and has always been a little bit wild, but this particular day we saw a dramatic change in wardrobe, khaki pants and a plain button down and very "mom like" hair. This new hubby has two young kids from his previous marriage.
I have nothing against taking on the raising of kids and making a home, but to totally make over who you are to fit some neighborhood image of who you should be....that pisses me off. I think it is phony. Even when Max played football, I never fit in with those people/parents, but I remained true to myself and made the best of it. I never set about to re-make my image so they would accept me. That is my big issue here.
Be yourself! If you can not be accepted for yourself then why are you even with those people?
I know that I have gone through some people in all these years, but have held onto those who are/have been good friends. They have accepted me as I am and I have accepted them. That is what true friends do.