Sunday, November 26, 2006

Holiday Aftermath

Seems that everyone has made it through, yet another, holiday food fest. Complete with television sports, mega shopping and pies galore. Oh, and yes..... family members. I think everyone must have some degree of dysfunctionality in their family and the holidays just make us have to endure. I loved the quote by Esteban, " ...drink enough alcohol so that I can tolerate my relatives, but not so much that I tell them what I think of them." Very good advice indeed!!

I began the "holidaze" by getting up at 5:30AM and adding some of the new carmel flavored Baileys to my coffee. I have a bottle in my fridge throughout the entire holiday season. By 11:00 I had the mamoth 20lb. bird in the oven, sans dressing because I hate that crap crammed inside the turkey, and moved into the realm of red wine. My mom & I watched the Macy's parade and then the dog show. Love the dog show!! Although we were not happy with the choice for "Best in Show". A white toy poodle!! YUCK!! My fav group, naturally, is the working and sporting groups as I like and have a big dog. A Golden.

My youngest brother and his new fiance and his daughters came by for finger foods. They were doing her side for dinner. Trying to make the impression and introduce his kids to her side. She has a 4 year old son, but he was with his father. This was the dysfunction that I was speaking of earlier. He has his head so far up his ass right now that he has totally left our mom in some unpleasant circumstances. SO & I had to jump in and help her out. It is not looking too promising, they plan a wedding next summer, but he can't be advised, so we are just letting it run its course. No advice.

So, we watched Elf and Christmas Story. They left and mom, son & I had our small, but tasty feast. Pie and brownies later. Son went to hang with friends and mom & I went to play cards with a gaggle of my girlfriends.

When we arrived there were many varieties of wine on the table and a different wig on every chair. As the game went along we would all put on a wig, take pictures, and then pass the wig to the left and put on a diff wig the next time. Fun stuff. My mom looked particularly funny, at 72, in the very long bright red wig!! We howled. Played a card game called Michigan Rummy that is played with pennies. My mom cleaned up. Then a game with quaters. We moved up to the big bucks as you can see. Taht game was called 31. I was a loser in all games. A winner with friends and mom had a blast!! Although we were full to our eyeballs we had cheese and crackers there along with our wine. Mom would sleep VERY well tonight!!!

Gave mom an early Christmas gift. AAA membership and a cell phone. Told her that she neede it. Driving back and forth to our house alone. She neede it in case of emergency.

Got myself that Abby Seixas book, "Finding the Deep River Within. A Womans Guide to Finding Balance & Meaning in Everyday Life". Although the irony is, trying to find that time to sit and read!! Mom went home a day early, so I have been able to start it. I like it very much, although I laugh at the thought of skipping to the "balance & meaning" parts!! There are only 199 pages, so it will be a quick read... when I can do it. I am only scheduled 2 days this next week, at the coffee mega giant, so I should find some time. When I am not getting immunizations for school or reading about blood and trauma.

A good friend recently was asking me questions about their life and pondering their own sense of freedom. I thought that I might address that here. The reason is that many people feel that they are not who they could really "be".

You can be as free as you want to be. Yes, there are family and work obligations. Some societal ones too, but the only thing stopping you is where you set your own bar. I almost let myself get persuaded to take another path, but that did not feel right. I knew I had to make my own choice. If you always worry about what everyone will think of you, you will never do anything for yourself. There is nothing wrong with doing things that you want. Sometimes it is okay to be self centered!! Does the fact that you have a family mean that you no longer have your own dreams and/or desires? Just because we are "grown-ups" does not mean that we have to settle. Just go with what everyone else thinks we should be and do. We have talents and abilities. Those did not die when we got married, had kids, bought a house etc. Just because we have jobs and bills etc. does not mean that those things are all that is left of our true essence, ouyr real self.

Sometimes we have to tell the others that we are involved with, whether it be a boyfirend, girlfirend or spouse, that I have to do this for me. As long as you're not running off and leaving them to see the world. If they love you how can they deny you your path? Everything we do in this life is not, nor does it have to be, about them. You are still a valuable person too.

You are as free as you allow yourself to be. You can be your own worst enemy. The things that hold you back are there because you put them there because you think that they should be. You hold yourself back because you think there that there are only certain roles that you can and should play. That is not rue. Only you can allow yourself move into new and different areas. It's all up to you.

Off the soap box. Now it is back to a busy week of work and school. heading to the Health Dept. on Wednesday for immunizations and hope to be able to begin my hours in the ER by the beginning of Dec. I just have to have them all in before the national test in Jan.

Hope to get our tree up soon. Son will have to help, unless SO is back from Brazil later this week. May be home for 2-3 days and then he is off to Finland. They are trying to get things caught up, as much as possible so he can can be here for Christmas and then he will be off to Australia. Only problem with doing all the shopping myself is that I will also have to wrap it all!!

Oh well, no worries. I can only do what I can do!!


Ain't Nothing But A Hound Dawg said...

Dharma,Your words are encouraging to us all.I feel like I particularly can take the to heart.You are a very good friend.Your Thanksgiving sounded mostly like alot of fun.

Anonymous said...

Such a fun Thanksgiving!

And, what a healthy attitude you have. I wish everyone, especially women with kids, would take your advice and just let themselves be themselves. Yes, there are limitations sometimes, but by and large it is up to us to be who/what we want to be.

Great post, kiddo! I still want to meet and hang out with you some day!


Dharma said...

Mixter, if we ever have opportunity we will get together!! If either of us has a trip in the appropriate direction we should really try and make it happen.

Thanks for the nice comments!!