I just could not believe what I was hearing! I could not get to a pen and paper fast enough to write it down. It was four in the morning and I was getting ready for work. My habit is to turn on the chat radio shows to see what people are talking about. Usually, at that hour, you will find the variety of uber conservative types , that I have never heard of, that they run in the hours when there is usually no one up and not too many folks listening.....at least this is what I believe. Maybe these people have huge legions of fans and a gigantic fan base. If that is the caes then I am very afraid!!
The chat host was a woman, and I do not recall hearing her name, but she sounded somewhat youthful. I know you can not tell much from an anonymous voice, but she did not sound elderly. She was in the middfdle of a discussion when I turned her on, but it was the closing comment before commercial that cuaght my attention most. She ended with, "God bless the American housewife". Are you kidding me??
The "idea" of the traditional housewife has been dead for years! If not largely at least it is in my mind and with the people that I associate. In a time when both people in the home, not to mention those without a partner, must work I find it appalling that there are those who either yearn for the 1950's ideal of a "stay-at-home" mom type. It just can not be done. Unless the other income is so good that the woman does not need to work there is no choice these days. There are usually two cars to pay for and kids crap is not cheap. The time of the wife at home cooking dinner is long gone. Granted they still may try and enforce it in the extreme Christian home, but generally speaking the family dinner time has become a thing of the past.
When Max was small I tried to have that sort of dinner, but as he got older and more involved in other activities and John and I had different types of jobs and schedules it became more difficult and even more stressful to cook and eat a meal. It was much easier to throw in a Stouffers Lasagna and talk while we all watched a movie together.
Sometimes when I listen to these conservative chat people talk about the need for mom's to stay home and raise the kids it makes me want to scream. Their target audience might make enough for that to happen, but what about for the rest of the population that has to struggle to make ends meet and have to have multiple incomes? What about God bless the single wage earners, or multiple earners, who are trying to pay for basic living?
They always complain about how the liberals always pick on them, but it seems to me as if they are still living, or want to live, in the Father Knows Best era. Mom/wife in a dress with an apron and pearls when dad gets home from the office and she hands him the pipe and a martini!!
Also, they always have to bring God into it as well. They love to hearken back to how a good, God fearing, Christian woman/family lifestyle is the best for the country and this time in which we live. Yuck!! Obliviously ignorant of the fact that there are plenty of good women out there, raising kids and families that are neither God fearing or Christian.
Now, my good buddy Mixter knows that I had plans to drink for the both of us this weekend, and I want her to know that I did my best, BUT this photo is NOT from this weekend, but from a small back story that I am going to share momentarily along with a couple of bits about the weekend that I am still enjoying this morning!This delightful photo comes to us courtesy of my hubby when he was in Qatar. It was early May and we were having that very unexpected weather in the upper 80's. I had worked all morning and then gotten home and walked the dog AND did yard work. I was not only hot, but tired as well. So it seemed the natural thing to do and have a nice, chilled bottle of a great summer wine!! A wine that went down REALLY, REALLY fast!
Then John called, on Skype, and I brought my laptop out in the back yard to sip some more wine and yak with him. I can not tell you how long we were in to the call, but at some point I passed right out, or should I say, fell asleep!! :-D Next thing I know he is playing some loud music in Arabic over the sky waves and wakes me up. "Nice nap?" He asks. I laugh and we continue, not knowing how long I was out I then receive the photo next day by e-mail. I laughed for a very long time. I am just glad that my laptop did not fall off my lap and into the yard.
The yard is exactly where I am sitting right now, as the sun is coming up, having my coffee and listening to as well as watching the birds. Yes, I have the day off and I am milking every bit of joy out of it that I am able. I plan to buy a few dollars worth of flowers and put them in the bare spots that are left in my garden. It looks like all the seeds John brought me from Australia are coming up. I saved the seed packets so I will be able to identify them and will post a few pics when they bloom.
Yesterday we spent the afternoon at friends having what I call a feeding and wine frenzy, beer for John. They had their pool open, but WAAAAY too cold for this gal. Only kids can tolerate pool water at this early in the summer. Our pal Ed always cooks like he is in the Army and also many varieties of meat, so I decided to allow myself a carnivores delight and had some of all of them. Nothing says summer like the taste of crispy, charcoaled meat from a grill!
Along with the usual, and plentiful side dishes, there were also PIES!! an I just tell you that both John and I were so full that we were really miserable! Both of us had to come home and put on pj's to be more comfortable. I think I may not eat at all today. Seriously, I am just now feeling human again and less like my dog.
Along with that there are three of us here and we are down to one car. The brakes just went out on Max's and, thank God he works the night shift, we are going to shuttle him to work and let him get a ride home.C an't help him out on this one, sadly. Now he can get a feel for real world stuff and see what he will face in a life without the military. That is a story for another time and one that I am not ready to talk about too much right now.
Work is going well and I am assuming the role of leader and playing the corporate game. Proudly serving my corporate master. Hopefully by fall I will have had all the trainings and be ready to take that promotion.
John is leaving at the beginning of June for India and that might be the last job prior to a lay-off. We are hoping not, but he does not believe that they have sold anything. With his company that can change in a split second, so never say die! He thinks there might be a job in Norway. We are hopeful. I do not relish the thought of having to try and live with unemployment. Things are very tight now, but there is a smidge of wiggle room, bu there would be absolutely zero of that with unemployment. We can only hope that India lasts a few weeks,. long enough to make a bit of money and have a few sheckles for an emergency.
Other than that....all is well and Hope it is also with you! Welcome to Guy and it is awesome to have his input and perspective here at the Mix!!!!!!! Guy, you know I adore your sense of humor and look forward to your posts!!
While looking through the other blogs on my list I came across a topic that caught my attention, made me think and then to write.
Over at Dooce the topic of marriage and motherhood was the debate. Which do/did we find easier. Wow! What a topic. At first I laughed and thought,"Are either of them easy?" Then as I decided to make them part of my dialog today I looked more deeply in to both of them.
While I am currently directly involved with both of them, Max is 18 and has not left for the Navy yet and still married, I have pause to reflect upon each of them.
I was once under the assumption that as your children got older that it would become easier and far less expensive. How little I knew!! I think other parents keep this information to themselves so that others will have to go through the same experiences as they did. It must be part of the rites of parental passage. I thought that once they were through the diapers and inoculations it could only get easier. I must have been crazed as part of the sleep deprivation!
Now their "toys" are far more costly, they eat tons more food and leave bigger messes and it is FAR harder to control them and tell them what to do or what to wear. You have to repeat yourself countless times and they are far too big to put in a "time out" chair.
But...if I have to decide if it is easier than marriage......I think that I might say NO.
Trying to navigate life in a marriage can be difficult for sure, but hopefully it is with a person that you also consider a friend. Something that doesn't come with children until they are older. During those diaper years you have to be a parent and not a friend. Your marriage can be a partnership, if you are lucky enough to get to that point before you kill each other, it can be an anchor in your life.
Not always, in the early years it can be quite difficult to navigate the waters of a new marriage. I remember times when I felt like a maid until we worked our way into the niches that we have today. I think the first 10 years were the "negotiating" years. The time of feeling our way through the highs and lows of setting up a home and then you add the kids and you have a brewing cauldron of emotions!!
I don't think it was easy to negotiate with children, but far easier to do so with John. He actually worked around me and let me find myself, but there is not really any time to do that with your kids. Many of the decisions that must be made, when they are small, have to be made off the cuff and instantaneously.
When I reflect on both I know that there are things that I wish I would have done differently as a mom, but as a wife/person in a relationship I think it has been something with far fewer regrets. I have mellowed into the relationship that we have and look forward to what the future will bring. I think that motherhood was harder and has given me FAR more gray hair than anything that has come from my relationship.
How about you guys?
