Gold Stars

My job is NOT who I am. It is not what defines me as a person, writer, wife, mother, friend etc. So...why then do I continue to let it bother me that my boss is a jerk that does not give out recognition, but rather uses people, manipulates and rarely treats you as well as you should be for the work that you do?

I have been arguing with myself, since yesterday, that I should not give a shit. That I should just let it go and act like I don't care. BUT I DO!! All morning as I was running at the gym and then while trying to do my yoga, and simply concentrate on my breath, I kept telling myself to get over it and just move on.

A hard task. I just spent a week trying to NOT have overtime in a company that does not like to see it happen. I worked a 12 hour day on Monday doing HIS work while he was on vacation. Payroll and other tasks that are really not in my job description yet, but he did not want to have to come in and do it all while on vacation, so he taught me how do it all. Something that is good for me to know prior to a promotion, BUT... I took great care to keep things smooth, keep spirits high as we are busier than we have ever been and shorter staffed than we have ever been as well.

It was one of the most exhausting weeks that I have ever worked. Yes, I did it all as part of my plan to prove my worthiness for a promotion, but there should always be a little recognition for a job well done. I took the time, often, through this past week to thank those that I worked with and even bought meals over the weekend for the entire store. I fully recognized how hard people were working and on what short fuses. We never seemed to have a slow down moment where one could catch their breath. Not one.

I even did an interview with a potential new hire that I thought was excellent and recommended that he hire this guy upon his return. I know that I am pretty much his flunky right now as he takes advantage of the fact that I have something to prove,BUT...

A little thank-you, a note, or just some recognition of the effort that was put forth. He knows that I worked a 12 hour day and did not even ask why. he knows that things were smoothly attended, but he has chosen to say nothing. He came back and got right back to work without a single word about the work that was done in his absence.

Hard to get over and even though I know that I should not even let it phase me...why does it? That job is just what I do for money to allow me to write AND have health insurance for John & I. So why do I care if he recognizes my contributions or not? I guess we all want someone to continue to tell us what a good job we are doing no matter what stage of life we find ourselves entering or leaving. I guess it all started with that first gold star in our first year of school. After that we were all hooked.

I am still chasing the gold star. Are we all?

What's Up

Just a little catching up to do. As well as a few pics to go along. John just got back from Norway. The company he was working for is Laderal. They make all of the first aid matereials you often see with paramedics/medical people. The face mask I have for CPR and the dummies you train with during CPR made in Norway. He brought home the "skin" of the dummies and an arm used for practicning IV insertion and several baby heads from CPR babies. Max put one of the skins on his own head and the pictures are really creepy!!

We also took casey to the groomers this weekend and she looks more like a dog rather than a walking rug!! I also believe that she was sevarl shades lighter!! The weekend was so nice we also spent a good deal of time outdoors.

Change is Good

Today's meditation was good. It greatly reflects how Mixter, Guy & I have made changes in our lives and how change is a really good thing!! Not a group of people to stick with or be satisfied with the status quo or what society might tell us is main stream and appropriate. Kudos to anyone that can riser above the crticism and family crap to make out of their life what they wish it to become!!

Today's quotation: The life you have led doesn't need to be the only life you have. Carol Clurman

Today's Meditation: Who and what have I been up until now? Does that determine who I'm going to be over the next five or ten years? I suppose the better question is: Does that necessarily determine who I'm going to be? Many people stepped into the roles they now occupy when they're very young--far too young to be able to say truly what they wish to accomplish with their lives. And once they've been in those roles for a number of years and they've started to feel a sense of safety and security, they find it almost impossible to step out of those roles. Their choices for today are determined by trying to maintain the lives they've lived up until now. But what if you're an insurance adjuster who dreams of being an actor? Are you limited in life to continuing to be an insurance adjuster for the rest of your days? What if you're a school administrator who dreams of being a classroom teacher? Are you truly limited to staying in the office for the rest of your working years? Making a choice to step off in a new direction means that sacrifice will be necessary. Many people won't make that sacrifice because family members also will be affected by their actions; what they don't seem to want to admit is that their family members also are affected--even at a very subtle level--by their dissatisfaction and their unfulfilled dreams and ambitions. We've been blessed to be born in a time of opportunity, days when almost anyone can accomplish almost anything. More and more people are finding out that they don't have to maintain the status quo for the sake of security, but that they're willing to make a shift in their lives for the sake of fulfillment. And even though struggles surely will rise up, they can't compare to the riches that we'll find through the fulfillment of our dreams and wishes and aspirations.

Questions to consider: What kind of life would you like to be living? What would you have to do to achieve that kind of life? How can it be possible for us to live more than one life? Who determines the courses and patterns of our lives?

For further thought: Life is the ability to start over again. Joan Chittiste

New Shirt

After Talking about how I had just discovered this show, Weeds, I saw an episode where the Uncle had made tee shirts that he could not sell. The printer had made a "mistake". The letter T was left off and so we ended up with the name Chris. I saw the shirt and laughed my ass off!! i said out loud that I would love to find that shirt....and so I did. I am now waiting for it to come in the mail.

I find it very funny & I a m sure that many will find it annoying.

The Book, The Blog & Weeds

After working for nine days, in a row, I was ready for these last two days off!! My boss is going on vacation soon and so I expect that I will be working a good deal more AND not having two days off in a row!! Something that I consider a luxury. Nothing gives you a better mental health break than to have two days to putz around, read, write and whatever the hell you feel like doing. That, my friends, is exactly what I have been doing.

Obviously I am devoting time today to blogging. Something that I greatly enjoy and also consider part of mental health routine care. How outstanding is it that I do not even need to use my insurance or pay any kind of co-pay to reap the benefits.

I sometimes feel negligent when I do not have anything current to write about, but I know that I am busy as well as the good folks that I co-write with. Mixter is making a big move and I can not even imagine moving at this time in my life with all the STUFF that has accumulated in said time! All the best to Mixter as she makes this journey!! Hopefully you have a strapping lad to lend a hand or two!!

Naturally there are issues, like health care , to be discussed and our often continuous religious debates. I must say that I did watch Obama the other night and I am glad that I did and he did make me feel better about the direction that the health care issues are heading. I may not always feel that way, but for now I am not fretting.

I have gotten myself to chapter five in my book. Which, for someone who did not think that they had much to say, seems to be a good deal. I went back and read what I had written in the first three and it made me laugh so I think that I am heading in the direction that I intended. My best friend from high school has given me much good input as to possible topics and it has greatly increased my creative juices.

I do feel as though I have jumped around, topic wise, and I believe that this is why people have editors! A few people have offered and I am thinking about who I will have proof read etc.

I have also discovered, thanks to a friend at work, the Showtime series "Weeds". Always a bit behind the times and trends AND we have never had Showtime, I am watching it on Netflix on my laptop. It is an excellent show. If you have not heard or ever seen this show it is about a suburban housewife whose husband drops dead and she begins to sell pot to make ends meet. There is a plethora of neighbors and people that live in their development that are crazy characters. I sit with my earbuds in and laugh and laugh. I know my neighbors must think I am crazy as I sit out there in the early mornings watching season one laughing out loud.

The other thing that is continuously drawing me into this show is the cast of strong women characters. None of them are delicate little flowers, but strong and in your face women. Just my kind of folks! I love it when people introduce me to something that I end up really enjoying and now....I do it for you all.